Therapeutic
by korinara
Summary: Digital Devil Saga, Heat & Sera. Heat knew that he was vicious. Heat knew that he was strong. And Heat had made these facts clear to all the others, as well. But there had to be more...


**Therapeutic**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Digital Devil Saga: Avatar Tuner or any other related characters/concepts/ideas.

**A/N:** **Edit: **Fixed some things.

* * *

Heat hadn't always been a man of cause and effect. 

Before his atma had awakened, he had been loyal--unwavering in his allegiance to Serph and the Embryons, and undying in his determination to conquer the other tribes. He loved to fight, and loved even more to win. It sometimes got so bad that it would become a sort of addiction to the mayhem. He relished in the sound of gunfire, and felt at ease in the presence of wounded or fallen people. Even at night, sometimes, when he was lucky enough, he would dream of blood and grenades--of lifeless eyes and the cries of anguish in the air.

Heat used to live and breathe for nothing other than the battlefield.

But that day that his atma awakened in the Wasteland was the day he changed. No longer did he yearn for combat with weapons, but for flesh and blood torn by his hands. He yearned for tendons ripping between his teeth and veins snapping one by one with clamors of defeat.

And when his bloodthirstiness was quelled, he wanted something else entirely, and it was something that he, frustratingly, couldn't quite explain or concretely grasp.

He was rebellious, now. A deep-seated and uncontrollable hatred towards Serph had surfaced--one that he couldn't control.

Thus began his tirade--his phase--of action and reaction.

He liked to see what reactions he could draw from people. He liked to torment Argilla, which he had never done before, and reduce her to tears. He liked to call Serph a naive idiot and earn nothing but an angry, cold stare. He liked to taunt Cielo for his joyous nature and reprimand Gale whenever he, seldom, made an error.

And in the early months, when his very confusing feelings towards Sera were yet to come to the peak of containment, he enjoyed eliciting different things from different people.

Of course, Serph and Argilla would always be his favorite pair of victims, but there came a time when it grew tiresome. Heat _knew_ that he was vicious. Heat _knew _that he was strong. And Heat had made these facts clear to all the others, as well.

B ut he couldn't help but wonder if there could be, possibly, _more. _He could strike fear and animosity into the heart of any person--big or small, stupid or smart, human or not. But could he, possibly, make Sera feel the way she made him feel? The fluttering feeling deep in the pit of his gut, the trembling sensation that spread throughout his body when they touched...?

What was it, and how could he make other people feel like this? It surely wasn't very comfortable, after all.

The word came to him one night while he was sleeping. Instead of the usual battle and blood-soaked dreams he normally harbored in that demented subconscious of his, different ones came--ones consisting of happiness and laughter. And most of all, smiling and lots of...well, something he'd never seen before. Two people touching lips?

For some reason, he knew the word for that was "kiss." And for another reason still unknown to him, he knew the name for the feelings he had for Sera.

Those feelings were soon to be called "love."

So there he sat--in that dank, dark, windowless room in the Embryon's new hideout.

It had been nearly a week since he had decided to practice this thing, this "kiss" on Sera. Nearly a week since she had pushed him away, crying.

Which meant nearly a week since his heart broke.

And Sera was standing on the other side of the room--kind of the middle, but more off to the side--humming that beautiful tune.

Heat closed his eyes and leaned his head back a little, taking in the song and the sound of her gentle voice.

"Light shines on Heaven," was the only audible chorus that Heat could make out, but he liked it, anyway. That girl could stop the rain itself if she kept on singing--of that he was sure.

She stopped though, and he was instantly disappointed. She turned to him and sighed. "Heat?"

His eyes snapped open, and he tilted his head back down to stare at her. "Huh? What?"

"When do you think the others will come back? They've been at the Vendor for a long time, now."

He folded his arms behind his head and stretched out his legs, resting against a stack of cement blocks. "I don't know. That damn Serph is insane when it comes to supplies. They're probably getting new Karma with all the Macca he's hoarded."

She smiled at the casual tone in his voice. "Yes, but that's what he's supposed to do, right? He can't be all to blame."

He recognized her pitiful attempt to start conversation for what it was, and he spared her by continuing. "When he cuts down on our Revival Gem supply just to learn Mabufudyne, yes, he _is_ all to blame."

"Well--"

He snorted. "Save your breath. You'd have a better chance of storming the Karma Temple than finding a good excuse for him.

She laughed, and Heat's stomach did a little flip. There was another silence afterwards, in which Heat tried--and failed--to regain his once solid composure.

"Heat?" she asked again.

"What now?" he grumbled.

"Why...why did you kiss me?"

Heat choked on her words and shakily brought himself to stand. "Why do you want to know?"

"I don't know. I was really hasty before, and I thought I should at least listen to any explanation you might have."

He shrugged and turned his back to the wall, resting against it. "I don't have an explanation. I was just looking at you and...I did it."

"Just like that, huh?"

"Basically."

She crossed the room towards him, her footsteps sounding hollow and echoing across the box-like room.

Heat looked over at her, watching her approach him. She stopped less than two feet from him, and he faced her, noting that the top of her head barely reached to his smoldering red eyes.

"I'm going to give you something, Heat. It's called a hug."

"Is it a weapon?" He cocked his head to the side, curious as to what kind of gun she could possibly have for him.

She smiled and efficiently held his gaze with her grey stare. "I suppose it could be considered one, if used properly."

He nodded. "Okay, sure. Let me see it." He held out his hands to take the item.

She put nothing in his outstretched palms, and instead, took them in her own.

Heat blinked. "What are you...?"

She kissed the back of each of his hands, in addition to each gloved knuckle, and smiled when she heard him grunt with utter bewilermint at her antics.

"Sera, is this a...a 'hug?'"

She shook her head and released his hands, watching as they began to tremble. She smiled one last time as a warning before cautiously--slowly--stepping toward him. Then she threw sensibility and reproach to the wind and threw her lissome arms around his neck, fisting her little hands into the hair at the nape of his neck.

He stood still--shocked, stunned, and a little bit fluttery from all this. She'd done this to Serph before, when he said that she was his partner or comrade or something, and a sudden lurch in his heart made him frown. Quite bluntly, he stated, "You've given this to Serph, also."

She nodded and waited for his arms to fall around her waist. They never did, only hovered kind of shy-like above her hips. "Yes, but I gave him a different one. This one...is only for you, Heat."

Heat finally dropped his arms and pressed her all that much closer into his chest. He was sure she could hear his heart beating through the fabric of his cloak and bodysuit, but he didn't care.

They stood like that for a while, until it became apparent that Sera was crying softly.

He tried to twist himself to get a good look at her face, but found it extremely difficult, and gave up. "Why are you...doing that?" he asked in more of an agitated tone than he actually had meant.

"What? Crying?" she sniffled.

He nodded. "You did that last time, when I kissed you. Do you not want me to give you a 'hug,' too?" He sounded a little desperate, and it irked him to hear his voice sound so ridiculous.

She shook her head wildly, removing her arms to wipe at her eyes. Heat didn't release her, but instead allowed her to lean back a little bit--although their lower waists still touched.

"Of course I want you to hug me!" She desperately tried to grab for handfuls of her slipping poise, snatching whatever excuse she could think of so quickly. "The room is cold and you...you're warm! I feel like I could just stay here forever and never leave, and if I died right here, I would be content."

He grinned the widest he could ever remember grinning and scanned over her face. She was attractive_--very _attractive, in fact Her eyes were soft and undemanding, her cheeks were just barely flushed, and her lips--

Her lips...

He wanted to kiss her again. Very badly, at that moment, and the feeling was almost unbearable. But he held it in, remembering how she had reacted last time.

"It makes me sad," she mumbled, resting her hands softly against his chest. "That you were hurt so badly."

He didn't know what she was talking about, but he didn't care, so long as she didn't try to move. He didn't want her to go.

"That _he_ hurt you so bad. And...I sicken myself sometimes when I feel like I can forgive him for what he did. Do...do I sicken you, too, Heat?"

He shook his head. "Never! I think so much higher of you."

She looked down, away from his gaze, and smiled faintly. "I never want to see you injured again, Heat. It made me feel like dying when I saw what happened to you, so I came here." She chuckled a little, but it sounded empty. "Of course, I still had some feelings for Serph, but I wanted to come here for _you._ So that I could see you healthy and vibrant and_ alive!"_

The flipping, turning, somersaulting sensation in his gut increased tenfold, and he had to blink a few times to clear the hazy wave of euphoria from his vision.

"I'm so sorry... Can you ever forgive me? I know it was all my fault, and I know I shouldn't have--_mmph?"_ Her sentence was cut short when Heat decided to stop her lips from moving with his.

She leaned in to him, much to his relief, and closed her eyes.

He pulled away from her just as she was beginning to feel comfortable and let his head fall to rest against her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to! I'm sorry, Sera..."

She shook her head. "It's alright--really."

He lifted himself, looking down at her once more, and wanted very desperately to kiss her once more. "I...I just...it hurts sometimes," he tried to clarify, staring at her in such a way that he thought he could taste her from there if he didn't shift his gaze. "It hurts...this feeling that I have for you.

At his declaration, Sera's mouth parted a little bit, and the faintest glimmer of tears once again shone in the edges of her eyes. "Heat, I--"

Once again, his lips made contact with hers, but this time a bit less harshly.

"I love you, too," she managed to slurr out between the half-remembered pattern of his mouth and tongue working together to make her successfully feel the same fluttery feeling in her stomach that he felt.

And somehow, Heat felt undeniably like he had done this before.


End file.
